Recycled
5O LITTLE SECRETS
[ONE] Who was your last text from? Momma
[TWO] Where was your default picture taken? Vinceys car
[THREE] Your relationship status? Taken
[FOUR] Have you ever lost a close friend? Yes. but peole change, you move on with your life and are better for knowing them.
[FIVE] What is your current mood. Anxious
[SIX] Whats your brother(s)/sister(s) names? Pete, Jon, Gina, Kelli, Kenny, and Linsey
[SEVEN] Do you have a job Two
[EIGHT]Where do you wish you were right now? Im exactly where I want to be
[NINE] Have a crazy side? On occasion
[TEN] Ever had a near death experience? Nope
[ELEVEN] Something you do a lot? Laugh
[TWELVE] Angry at anyone? Not angry.
[THIRTEEN] What’s stopping you from going for the person you love? Nada
[FOURTEEN] When was the last time you cried? Two days ago?
[FIFTEEN] Is there anyone you would do anything for? yes. there is a select group who have earned that from me
[SIXTEEN] What do you think about when you are falling asleep? Whatever I hear
[SEVENTEEN] Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Kate
[EIGHTEEN] What is your favorite song? At the moment, Weekends by Skrillex
[NINETEEN] What are you doing right now? Trying not to jump my ridiculously good looking and smelling boyfriend. Struggle. Strugggggle.
[TWENTY] Who do you trust right now? They know who they are
[TWENTY-ONE] Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? Sheri and Lauren…and kohls.
[TWENTY-TWO] Have you kissed someone in the past week? Mhmm
[TWENTY-THREE] Who lives closest to you that youre friends with? Lauren and The Danger Zone are pretty much equidistant
[TWENTY-FOUR] Describe your life in one word. Incredible.
[TWENTY-FIVE] Who are you thinking of right now? Gabies
[TWENTY-SIX] What should you be doing right now? exactly this
[TWENTY-SEVEN] What are you listening to? tv show gabe is watching
[TWENTY-EIGHT] Who was the last person who gave you a hug? Boyfriend
[TWENTY-NINE] Who was the last person who yelled at you? Lauren
[THIRTY] Do you act differently around the person you like? I don’t act different around anyone. I am who I am, deal.
[THIRTY-ONE] What is your natural hair color? Ginger.
[THIRTY-TWO] Who was the last person to make you laugh really hard? Gabes
[THIRTY-THREE] Who was the last person to make you sad or pissed? Myself.
[THIRTY-FOUR] What do you hear? Commercial
[THIRTY-FIVE] Is your hair curly or straight? Straightened
[THIRTY-SIX] Has anyone ever called you ‘scrumptious’ before? Im sure at some point
[THIRTY-SEVEN] Do you have a best friend? Of Course.
[THIRTY-EIGHT] Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days? Yes
[THIRTY-NINE] Do you use smiley faces on the computer? Yup
[FORTY] Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? A bunch of times
[FORTY-ONE] Are you happy with life right now? Actually, I am. :)
[FORTY-TWO] Are you currently jealous? Surprisingly no.
[FORTY-THREE] What jewelry are you currently wearing? Lips, nips, glass pinchers, beaded necklace
[FORTY-FOUR] What are you doing Friday night? NEW YEARS EVE PARTY!!!
[FORTY-FIVE] Have you ever had your heart broken? On multiple occasions
[FORTY-SIX] Have you ever broken someones heart? Yes
[FORTY-SEVEN] Is there anybody you’re really disappointed in right now? Yes.
[FORTY-EIGHT] What was the last reason you went to the doctor for? Dont remember
[FORTY-NINE] How late did you stay up last night and why? Like 330. Gabe and I were hanging out and we went on a Sheetz run to get food. So after we got home from that.
[FIFTY]Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Multiple someones.
Been a really long time since I posted.
In a nutshell, life is good. Fuck the bullshit. I’m just gunna do me cause that’s all I got.
It’s been six months, why does it still hurt so much? I’m not going to have a heart much longer-it just breaks apart more and more everyday…
Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.
With you is where I’d rather be, but were stuck where we are.
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^^exactly how I feel at the moment.
I hate you. I can’t stand the things you’ve done to me. I’m damaged goods now. Because of you I’m so fucking terrified about being hurt again that it’s keeping me from being happy. I’ve found someone who I genuinely like and care about but I can’t do anything bc I’m so scared. I get so apprehensive now and it’s really getting in the way of things. I’m so afraid to let myself get close to anyone. I didn’t think you had this much effect on me and I hate that you actually do. Bc I feel like you shouldn’t. You don’t deserve to impact my life anymore, not after everything you’ve done to me. It makes me so angry that no matter how much I want to, I’m just so fucking terrified to let anyone else in. So thanks for that.
Question Mark
Last night was interesting. Weird feelings now. I don’t know what to do with them. I think I’m confused. But I’m not because I know what I feel. Aghhh why is this so difficult? My sexual orientation is in question at the moment. Ive always been 100% for homosexual love-it’s still love and therefore just as beautiful as heterosexual love. And I know that I’ve definitly always found girls to be attractive. But its just weird that now I see more girls that I’m interested in than guys. It’s just got me thinking that maybe the reason all my relationships have failed is because they weren’t with the right people, obviously, but perhaps I’ve been so far off that I was looking in the completely wrong gender? I see this as more of a high possibilty now than I have before. But I have no way of knowing if that’s true or not seeing as I have no experience to take observation from. Therein lies the problem-I’m totally cool with being with another girl, but it makes me nervous. I’m generally a fairly confident person when it comes to handling situations involving an object of interest but I just feel so lost. Like I have to start all over again. Which could be a good thing, a fresh start so-to-speak. But on the other hand, I hate new experiences. I very much fear the unknown and not knowing how to go about things, well it’s just not working with me too well. I don’t know, things are just way confusing right now. Urgh. meow
I feel like I want to punch something. HARD. Fuckkkkkkkkkkkk
Balls and Chowder.
Lots going on. In a very irritable mood at the moment. My little sister is being a total snob. It’s annoying, and it makes me worried that she’s gunna turn out to be a fricken biddie.
Lots of emotions today. All of which are very confusing and conflicting.
I miss William. A lot. Like a lot, a lot. I don’t know how to feel about it or what that means. But I’m not going to worry about it right now because I have bigger things to deal with. Things here at home.
So the deal is- I’m suuuuuuper hot for this guy. And it’s one of my ex’s best friends. And if it were anybody else I wouldn’t care, but it’s Will, and I don’t want to upset him. But I just can’t help it! All I can think about is all the dirty dirrrrty things I want to do to him, but I know I can’t. And it sucksssss because omg we could have sooooo much fun together…hot, rough, spontaneous, most likely drug-filled, funnnn…woah, I need to stop myself. Fuck why is this so difficult? I mean I’ve been hot for other guys before but there’s just something about him that I crave so much. And the weird thing is, it’s not even like I’m interested in him. I mean yeah he’s a really fucking cool guy but I could never picture myself like in a relationship with him or anything. Just cause i doubt hed ever go for it. I just really wanna fuck him. Even just suck his dick, I don’t even care. But of course, circumstances will not allow. Balls :(
Then there’s this other guy who is quite into me. I’m not exactly sure why but he’s made it very clear that he likes me. And thats Okay, I can handle that. I’ve had guys like me before. But it’s weird because he’s like super nice and very charming. He’s chivalrous (which is impt to the max) and well, let’s be honest, the dude treats me like a fricken princess. So these are all good things right? It’s like every girls dream to find a guy like him but for some reason unknown to me, Im so apprehensive about our situation. I can’t tell what I’m feeling so I’m staying a little distant, keeping my feet on the ground, and I guess whatever happens, happens. But only if I allow it to. Because I am staying very much in control of myself and this situation. I’m not afraid to remove myself if I feel that’s what’s best for me. Because ultimately what it comes down to-I need to watch my own ass because nobody else is gunna do it for me. Nobody. And as if right now, I have zero obligations and I intend on keeping it that way.
Urghhhh why does everyone have to have feelings?!?
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